Delayed Postification: (Noun); The act of posting about an event in one's life well after it has occurred because, although the author is sadly delinquent, the event bears emotional significance.
May was a month chalk full'o birthdays around here. Two of those were these two lovelies right here; Kathy and Danielle.
I have been so blessed in my life to be surrounded by amazing women and truly caring friends. These two go the extra mile though, literally. Well, if yoga can be measured in miles (that metaphor would have worked better back when we were all running together). They are more supportive than any bra I've ever owned.
Kathy and I have been exercising for several years together, dragging our kids out, rain or shine, to one another's houses. We've run and jumping-jacked and push-uped together (hey! Like a bra!). We are yoga-ing of late. We also do a work-swap in our gardens and a craft day once a week. We carpool, babysit, and generally help in many ways. She is amazing.
Danielle, now she is a whole different kind of wonderful. Our relationship is an amazing one of text-support. It's a lot like tech-support, but without the outsourcing. She and I talk food choices, health, exercise, emotional eating, and many other things. We often exercise together if we can, but more important than anything to me is the absolutely judgement free zone she creates. I can tell her I ate a whole bag of chocolate chips (which I would NEVER do, says the author, stuffing the empty bag in the bottom of the trash can), and she would listen to the why behind the behavior, and help me to work past it and on to better choices. I can't say enough about how generous and loving she is.
So, I made these two amazing women a special lunch and tried to dote on them. I used to be so good at doting! I could have doted in the Olympics. I was in The Doter's Hall of Fame. If you looked in the 2009 Webster's Dictionary under dote, you'd see a picture of me. It seems, though, that lately I don't dote too terrifically well.
At least, that's what that creepy voice in my head tells me. The one that tries to convince me that I "should" do this and that. The one that tells me my offerings are not enough. The one that tricks me into comparing myself to others. Well, that vociferous voice has learned a new trick: Comparing myself to....
Dastardly! Don't you agree?
You see, a few years ago I had a birthday lunch in October for 3 friends who celebrate in that month. I made a great lunch with all the best flavors of Fall, and had cards and gifts for each of the ladies; personally made jewelry that I had matched to their individual personalities and color preferences.
Now fast forward a few years. This time there were no gifts. In fact, if Ethan hadn't stepped in as my sous chef an hour before lift-off, meticulously (and rather mysteriously) mincing veggies into impossibly small cubes with his big yeti fingers, lunch would have been dinner. When all was said and done...
I felt less than.
Less than generous.
Less than worthy.
Less than who I used to be.
Then I caught myself,
I reminded myself that "the lunch with the gifts" was two kids and one homeschooling lifetime ago. I am not who I once was, it's true. None of us are. We give up certain things to achieve or learn or enjoy others. Yes, we usually aspire to add to our lives things that will bless or improve, but sometimes in order to enjoy the best things, we must let go of a few good, but not essential ones.
"We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are."
~ Marjorie Pay Hinkley
“We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families.”
~Dallin H. Oaks
Have you ever judged yourself?
Have you belittled your sincere efforts?
Have you called your offerings and gifts unworthy?
Hey, guess what? You are enough.
You are good.
You are generous.
Your gifts are worthy, and even lovely.
You are doing the best you can in this moment with what you have been given