Me: "Who has the best seat in the house, me or daddy?"

Adam: "Well, Daddy's is nice, but yours is best. Your's is squishier."

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Running Joke (did you hear the one about the mom...?)


I have a little secret.  No, it's not that I'm a millionaire (wouldn't that be awesome? I would totally get a maid).  Nor that I work for the CIA as a spy (...or do I?).

Nope.

My secret is that I am trying harder, harder than almost ever.  You see, I am excellent at starting and stopping (my email drafts folder would make a professional procrastinator drool).  But I started something a while ago, and it's getting kinda serious.

Hold on to your girdles, girlies.  I've started running.  Not just to the bathroom when I sneeze. And I don't wear pantyhose, 'cuz, ew, so no, no runs there.  About two-ish years ago the fam was sitting around talking about things we'd like to do someday and I said, out loud, that I had been thinking about running a 5K.  Well, Ethan said, "Yeah, like that's gonna happen," or something equally supportive.  Of course, once he said that, I had to do it, right?  The "just-you-wait-and-see" gene runs deep in my family. 

About 5 days later I learned about our little impending bundle of joy.  So, yeah.  Hello, back burner, meet pipe dream. 

Well, fast forward to last December and my post-Christmas blood test, when the lab tech that usually takes my blood pointed out in her it's-okay-to-be-rude-if-you're-from-another-country way that I had gotten nice and chubby for the holidays. Nothin' like a foreigner callin' ya' a fatty to get ya' to kick you into gear.  I cut out carby crap and desserts and exercised with Kathy 5 days a week, and I lost 8 or so pounds in about 2 months.  I realized that if I really put my mind to it, I could lose a lot more before summer; before a family reunion and a gathering to reunite with old friends.  I had plans, baby!

I began talking to my friend, Danielle, who had been losing weight and doing lots of fun runs.  She was so helpful.  Before I knew it, we were exchanging daily emails of support, I was logging all my food, and, most surprising to me, running.

I didn't tell my family at first.  You know, escape clause.  Cause once you say it out loud, ya' gotta do it.  When I finally did tell on myself (with a little help from Francine (hi Francine!) who accidentally spilled the beans), nobody really seemed to care.  Ethan didn't even remember uttering his little Anti-5k slander. Maybe they don't believe me yet. 

Anyway, here I am, about 10 weeks later.  I am running three times a week with Kathy and Danielle.  It's really hard.  I'm using the Couch to 5K app on my phone, and am up to two miles run-walk-running.  I stagger for the first block, and mostly schlep-step for the rest.  We go at night so only really obnoxious dogs see us, and I bark back (yep, Jackie, I bark.  I learned more in college than just really boss fencing moves).  It's  crazy hard, but I'm doing it.

As of last week, I have officially lost (wait for it)...zero pounds and zero ounces!

Now, if you think it would be a good idea to leave a note in the comments section that tells me that muscle weighs more than fat, I may have to hurt you.

So don't.

It's okay though.  'Cuz I am running.  And I am getting a little better each time.  And it's... fun-ish.  I mean I wouldn't pick running over, say, being deloused...okay, maybe I would... but I don't hate it.  Anyhoo, I am doing it.  And getting stronger.  And I may or may not lose any weight, especially while I am still nursing, but I am wrapping my brain around the idea that I can do this because it is good for me to be strong and healthy, at any weight.  I mean, when I help a woman in labor I tell her that the number of her dilation only tells one small part of the story; effacement, station, position, length/strength/frequency of contractions, and other things that can't even be measured are happening in addition to dilation.  Even if that number hasn't changed, there are so many other signs of progress.  My body is and will continue to be changing.  It can't not change.

And a stronger body means less chance of another blood clot. Maybe that's what I'm running from

 I signed up yesterday for a 5K on the 4th of July.  Yikes!  I was really feeling awkward at the thought of running by the light of day (I prefer to run in the cover of darkness; less jiggle-vision), and then I learned that the route for the race follows ALONG THE PARADE ROUTE, just before the big town 4th of July parade!

What have I gone and done?

I have a little over a month to practice, and you know what they never say, but really should: practice makes progress.


(Look who's turning one today!!!). More on that soon!)


Programs I'm using on my phone to keep me motivated:
Couch 2 5k
Map my run
My fitness pal

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