Behind the Wheel

You know those little steering wheel toys that toddlers love?  The kidlets sit in the back seat, steering furiously, signalling wildly their planned turns, and of course, honking their little brains out.  In their little grey-matter makers, they are really the ones making this big ol' van go!  And they truly believe with all their itty-bitty heart that they are "behind the wheel".

I have finally realized that I am that toddler.  I steer my life furiously, trying to keep it on the road I think it should be on.  I signal my intended shifts in direction, all well thought-out and carefully considered.  And I honk my horn, 

oh! how I honk my horn!

 

"Outta my way!  I'm driving here!" 

I know where I'm going and nothing is going to get in my way.

Yes, I am that toddler who thinks I am actually the one in charge of this mini-van that is my life.  I sit in my booster seat imagining that my foot is on the gas, while all along God looks into the rear view mirror at me and maybe smiles at my funny little efforts at control.  He is in charge.  He knows it, too, but He lets me figure it all out on my own.

I am not saying that I have no impact over the direction of my life.  I do, I know that.  My choices matter.  I can have a huge influence - for good or not - based on my attitude and decisions.  But ultimately, there is a whole category of life events that God chooses for me, 

and I can honk all I want, 

that won't change what His path for me.

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I'm feeling grateful tonight for Dan Mealey (age 78, I think), who showed up this morning when he heard that our pipe had burst in the yard during the night.  Guy had simply had to shut off the water to deal with it later because we needed to hurry Ellie-girl to the doctor for an up-all-night, miserable bladder infection with vomiting.  When we got back, Dan was there, tools in hand.  He just jumped right in and fixed the pipe so that Guy could get to his church meetings and I could tend to Ellie and Tessa (who had a bad headache and tummy ache).  Jonah felt the needy-theme in the room and joined in on the tear-convention.  

At one point I had three crying children literally on my lap.

Tonight I am also grateful for antibiotics.  

When they are needed, they are such a blessing...and I may get some sleep tonight.  

But mostly I am grateful for a Father in Heaven who looks out for me on rough mornings,

 and sends grey haired angels.

***

I guess I will let Him drive.