Me: "Who has the best seat in the house, me or daddy?"

Adam: "Well, Daddy's is nice, but yours is best. Your's is squishier."

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

How to ineffectively beat a dead horse

I have been finding new ways to explain words like ‘spoiled’ and ‘brat’ around our house lately, without actually calling the offending child (not to mention any names—Ellie) a brat to their face.

Laura Ingalls Wilder has been helping, though she doesn’t know it.

I tell Ellie, “Oh, my, Laura would never do that” or “What would happen to Laura if she talked to her Ma like that?” (I am so sly).

When her room was a mess, I would say “Laura always kept a tidy space in the attic.”

When she pouted about sharing a room, I would caution, “Laura not only shared her room, but her bed and blanket with her sister.”

And each time she complained about picking up her toys, I scolded, “Laura only had a corn-cob doll wrapped in a scrap of flour sack cloth to play with!” (that was my favorite.)

It worked like a charm for about 6 days. And just as the Great Creation of the earth came to an end on the seventh day, so did Laura’s help. Geez, thanks, Laura.

Ellie got cheeky with me, and I, beating the dead-prairie horse, crooned “If Laura talked to her Ma like that, she would get a switch to the behind.”

Ellie shrugged passively.

“Yeah, I don’t wanna be like Laura anymore.”

Dang. I pushed it too far. Now I am all alone. Laura has abandoned me. I need some new ammo. Or at least a new literary figure I can unscrupulously manipulate as a pawn in my diabolical scheme.

Any suggestions for what book I should read to her next?

5 comments:

Bethany said...

Yeah this totally rocks. Well at least it did for six days. You know that when she grows up she's totally going to hate Laura.

I just finished reading Farmer Boy to my kids and everytime he talked about how he needed to be responsible now that he was nine I just about cried. Some days I think my son will be thirty before he figures out how to wipe his own butt let alone think about responsibility.

Rebekah said...

Yeah I was reading about 2 lines into it and thought So How is that Working for you?? I had to smile when you said it only worked 6 days. I don't really have any place to go, for advice, I have boys and just 6 and 4 at that, I just wanted to write and let you know that I feel for you, in a way. love ya

Jackie said...

Brittani never liked Little House on the Prairy. Never. I think she was ahead of the game. They are a little too perfect. I love love to read and watch it but it's a little depressing. My kids never act that way!

Ruth said...

New book suggestions...hm...The Whipping Boy? ;-D. Really though, welcome to the age of "I think i'm older than I really am, and can do/say what I want" I'm with ya babe!

Cakeblast said...

My wife has a collection of Anne of Green Gables stories. I've never read them, but I think the heroine was required to be respectful, obedient, and to have a good attitude.